Mrs. J

Taking Inventory

2010-01-03T20:16:00.004-06:00

I hunted around the house and found the following items that need to either be recycled or sold for scrap:

- VHS Player
- CD Player
- Dead laptop
- Bluetooth Headset
- Cell Phone, not used for at least 2 years
- Wireless router/modem that may or may not be working
- Sena Elega red case for 1st Gen iPhone
- Lamaze Baby's First Mirror
- Smaller by See Kai Run "Naya" Shoes, Size 6-9 Months

Do we need this? Or this? Or this?

2010-01-02T20:27:00.003-06:00

My itch to get rid of everything that clutters our house has returned. At the moment, I have little piles of stuff all over the place. Things I need to send to girlfriends, things that must be donated to the homeless shelter, things I need to sell at the consignment shop, etc.

And then there is dealing with all of the toiletries we accumulated through the year (mostly because Mr. J works for a personal care company). I am really trying to restrain myself from buying the products I like and instead use what we have around the house. It's a good thing that they make some pretty nice stuff.

I'll be posting our progress in 2010 as we get through it.

Happy Birthday to Aubree G!

2010-01-01T09:37:00.001-06:00

We hope the coming year is your best one yet!

Wishes & Goals for 2010

2009-12-29T17:10:00.002-06:00

1. That everyone in my family stays healthy, and is very happy
2. That Little B graduates from bottles to sippy cups
3. That I get a job that I really like
4. That I finish all of my craft projects
5. That I convert my family videos to DVD

I think that is enough to keep me busy for the whole year.

Dearest B,

2009-12-25T18:41:00.006-06:00

You fell asleep not long ago after a whirlwind day. It's hard to imagine that a year ago was your first Christmas. We enjoyed that one very much because you were our favorite gift that year. This year was equally fun for other reasons.

You have been at Grammie & Grand Dad's house for ten days now, and you feel right at home. It melts my heart to see how much you love them, and their dog, Holly. I like it when you raise your arms to your Grammie, asking her to pick you up and hold you. Although we live far away from them, it's nice that you know who they are and that you feel so comfortable around them.

Since we do not come very often, your Daddy and I were concerned that you would not behave when it counts. You know, when we go to church for Christmas mass, or out to dinner at their country club. In both instances you were very well behaved (A-plus at dinner and a B at mass. In the case for mass, we had to come much earlier than we would have liked to get seats, so by the time we used our kneelers you had enough.) We are so pleased with your ability to behave in public. Although we try our best to teach you good manners, you are only 15 months old. A lot of this has to come from you--or just plain luck. Thank you so much.

I had so much fun watching you today. This morning, I wasn't so sure you knew what was happening after breakfast. There is a very grand Christmas tree in the living room and your Daddy showed you all of the presents that 'magically' appeared on the floor while you were sleeping. The stocking on the mantle even packages for you and Holly. When it was time to unwrap gifts, I can remember your giggle when you figured out your 'remote control'.

And then when you received your tea set, I was quite impressed that you knew how you play with it. Good job, my love!

The reality of your situation is this: you are the only child of two only children. When special occasions such as your birthday and Christmas come, your Grandparents on both sides cannot help but spoil you in their own way. I accept that you will always have more than you could ever need or desire. I smile graciously when your Grammie asks if you can have ice cream for dessert 'one last time' before you leave. I laugh when you run to them when you cannot get what you want from me or your Daddy.

But B, please remember that although you are a very special person to all of us, you must not take your Grandparents for granted. Never ever ever. They love you so much more than you can understand. Please love them back with all of your heart. Give them as many hugs and kisses and tell them that you love them every chance that you get... And please try to be as good a little girl as you have this past week.

We look forward to being with you when you wake up tomorrow and every day following

Love always,
Your Mama

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T09:22:00.003-06:00

Was Santa good to you this year? He was doubly good to me. I received doubles of two things on my wish list! Does that mean, I wished for too little? Or that Santa's elves do not talk to each other?

Dearest B,

2009-12-08T22:21:00.005-06:00

Words cannot describe your facial expression when your Daddy & I walked through your bedroom doorway on Saturday morning. We were so excited to see you, after a red eye flight from Hawaii.

I heard your Lola talking to you, keeping you busy and she tried to change your diaper. You were lying on your belly when we walked in and your eyes widened--almost bugged out, as if to say, "I cannot believe it's you! Finally you're back!"

We hugged you and loved on you like it was going out of style. How we love and missed you so!

Your Lolo & Lola left on Sunday, and what a day that was. You were so confused. You grunted and screamed until Daddy took you to every room in the house so that you could look for them. When you realized that they were gone, you cried very hard. I felt so bad that they could not be with you all the time. Chicago is not a quick drive to our house. But I also felt relief knowing that you felt so loved under their care, and that you love them so much to miss them.

The past few days with you have been wonderful. You have grown so much since we left and continue to learn and explore the world each day. You and I have a new thing: I scoop you up in my arms while laying on one side on the floor, then roll 180 degrees to the other side. You squeal with delight, then cuddle closer to me so that I roll again in the opposite direction. I cherish every moment with you; more so, now that I hope to find a full time job.

I have a second round interview with a company that is thankfully a 10 minute drive from our house. I like them enough, and am energized about the possibility to work again. Things have happened so quickly, that there is a possibility that our Mama & B time might be limited during the weekdays. I am a bit sad about it, but realize that the distance might make us appreciate each other more. Spending quality time with you is such magic!

Believe me, I am not looking for a job to get away from you. If I could have my cake and eat it to, I would want to work for 2 days and play with you for 5. But before you blessed our lives, I loved my job and I loved my work. I still need that element of happiness in my life to be an awesome Mama to you.

I also want to be a good role model to you--and good mothers pursue the things that make them happy, because that kind of happiness is infectious. In addition, good things in life rarely come easy to anyone. It takes quite a lot of energy, perseverance and dedication. I want to show you that I work for things, because when your Daddy & I are no longer living, we cannot give you the world on a silver platter (although we will always try our best to do so). Marrying a man to have financial stability is not a good enough reason. You marry a person for love and for the partnership it creates.

On other fronts, we got your first haircut today! You were so brave--looking around, checking out the other big kids at the salon.... after seeing that they were not crying, and finding fun toys to play with, you started to have fun. I'm not sure if you knew what was really going on, but your hair sure is cute, my love.

I look forward to seeing you when you wake up tomorrow morning. Your Daddy and I love you so much!

Love always,
Your Mama

Don't Mess With Me

2009-12-14T20:14:00.004-06:00

The "New York" in my came out in full force this afternoon. I believe that if you spend a lot of money on something, whatever it is, the item should do its job perfectly. If you spent even more money than necessary, I believe the store that sold it to you should bend over backwards to make sure that you're happy with the item for ever and ever and ever. My expectations are raised even higher when I'm dealing with a luxury brand.

So I was at Tiffany & Co., and you can only imagine how irate I was when the woman behind the customer service desk refused to clean my ring when I mentioned that I got some baby poop on it. She stepped back and said, "I'm sorry, we can't. It's for health reasons. You could wash it with dish soap..."

Now, it's not like I got the poop on it right before I walked in. It happened a while ago and has been rinsed off and put in the ultrasonic cleaner immediately thereafter.

"Are you kidding?!?" I said.

"Uh, yes. I'm sorry." She said.

I walked out and quietly requested to speak the store manager. I don't care if people spend thousands more dollars in Tiffany that I do. It doesn't matter. The company is not doing any better than any other retailer. In fact, Tiffany & Co should be happy I came in at all.

When a manager finally came over to speak to me, I explained what happened. "I received this ring from my husband to commemorate the birth of our child. I got baby poop on it, cleaned it off, and your customer service rep just told me that she cannot professionally clean it? Are you serious? This is a part of life. Does this mean that any woman who changes a diaper can never bring in her diamonds to be cleaned? Your store is a destination for engagement rings. Kids tend to come after that..."

The manager's face showed it all. She was horrified that her rep was rude. In fact, the company highly encourages their customers to have their Tiffany diamonds cleaned there, free of charge. The settings are thoroughly cleaned and prongs checked to make sure everything is copacetic. She apologized profusely and insisted to clean my ring personally.

"There is no health issue?" I asked.

"Absolutely not." She replied. "The chemicals used would kill the bacterial anyway."

"So basically, your employee just didn't want to clean it?"

"It appears so. She has been dealt with. I would be very happy to take care of your jewelry anytime. And if you need assistance purchasing anything else, please call me directly and I will arrange it." She said, handing me her business card. It turns out, the person I spoke with was not the store manager, but the director of North American stores.

Cross Fingers!

2009-11-17T08:50:00.003-06:00

I have a meeting with a headhunter today. Kind of nervous. The suit & dress shoes are ready to go. I even got a manicure since I will shake hands. Little B is "resting" in her crib. More like chatting with her stuffed animals. I am trying to relax before I get dressed, drop B off at childcare, then head downtown.

I know I would like to work. I just don';t know if I will be able to gracefully balance my time between something I put so much energy into for 15-plus years, and the loves of my life. But so many women manage with fewer resources, so why can't I, right?

I think I can I think I can I think I can....

Dear B,

2009-10-22T23:30:00.003-05:00

Time has passed so quickly. How I wish I did a better job at documenting how much you have accomplished in a little over 13 months. Today, I noticed how much my neuroses is being passed to you; during breakfast, you got some rice cereal on your fingers. I usually wipe it off immediately, but you beat me to it, and wiped your hand on my jeans.

You are starting to walk, but tend to prefer holding things while you try. Not matter how bulky or heavy the object may be. I wish I could tell you that it may be easier to balance without dragging along your "Poppin Pals" but I find it too amusing. You take a few steps and your face lights up. But you come crashing down soon after. I think you have taken 9 consecutive steps so far. Whenever you try, your joy is so apparent, it's infectious.

In the past week, you finally have the hang of not nursing. This shift has been very bittersweet. I never thought I could nurse you for so long. After my first two days of trying, I remember feeling dread when it was time to feed you. I thought I would end up failing so terribly at giving you the nutrition you needed, and when you lost more than the typical 10% of your birth weight, I was a basket case. As we both got the hang of nursing, I wondered if I was a bad mama if we quit after 3 months. But time flew and you gained weight steadily. Why fix what isn't broken? Plus, in a sense, I was a bit lazy too. Nursing you means I don't have to mix formula.

We used to have our time together before you went to sleep each night, I cradled you in my arms as I nursed you to sleep. Now, you are plain tired and want to go straight to bed. I miss you. You are becoming so independent already!

I melt when I see you every morning or when you smile. And I fall in love every time I pick you up from daycare and you are so happy to see me and wave. But even when you're mad or frustrated or just plain naughty, I want to scoop you up on my arms and hug and kiss you. I am so glad that you like to be cuddled by your daddy and me.

We love you more than any words can express, and I am honored to be your mother.

Looking forward to seeing your beautiful face tomorrow,
Mama

Aloha from Kauai!

2009-12-04T00:05:00.004-06:00

Mr. J and I are on a much-needed vacation right now. Little B is on a staycation with my parents while we are away. I had no idea how luxurious it is to sleep 8 hours each night without interruption or worry about the day's challenges/stresses. And for 6 nights in a row! It has been wonderful.

But oh, how I miss our daughter so very much. I called home at least 2x per day. In the beginning, I seemed to call while she was napping. I would be so sad, not to hear her voice. I am looking forward to coming home and smothering her with hugs and kisses. I worry that she's going to be mad at us for leaving, and am prepared that she may snub us when we walk through the door on Saturday morning.

I know deep in my heart that it was a good thing for us to be apart for the week. I needed the rest, and quality time with Mr. J. Little B definitely had a chance to bond with my parents too. I want her to grow up knowing how much she loved, not just by us, but her relatives. I also want her to feel secure even when her parents aren't around.

Kauai is my favorite of the island of Hawaii. So lush and not too crowded...

I managed to surf a bit while we've been here, and I love it a lot. It's too bad my 30-plus-year-old body got sore sooner than I wanted it to. I could hardly move after two consecutive days. I look forward to trying again soon. I think a women's surf camp is in my future....

Bargain!

2009-11-21T19:54:00.006-06:00

With Christmas around the corner, Mr. J and I are trying to figure out what to give Little B as a present. I wasn't too excited to give her a doll, because I think she's a bit too young. But lately, she is really interested in dolls. I asked my friends on Facebook what seems to be good for 14 month old babies and got a few suggestions. One was Baby Tidoo by Corolle.

Tidoo has a suggested retail price of $40, which is a bit more than I wanted to spend for something that she may not like very much. But she's 12" tall--which is a perfect size for B to carry around. Another great thing about Tidoo is that while she has a vinyl head, arms, and legs, her body has quick dry pellets, which makes her not only machine washable but a great buddy for the bath!

I was running errands a few days ago and found a Baby Tidoo at a children's resale shop. She didn't have any clothes and had a few crayon marks on her face. Otherwise, she was in pretty good shape. Her asking price? A whopping $2.50! I guess the folks at Once Upon A Child don't know enough to realize Tidoo is more valuable than the Cabbage Patch Kid the store wanted for $6.50. I bought her at once.

When we got home, I popped Tidoo in the washing machine with my sweaters and later on, I bought the doll pajamas from our nearby Creative Kidstuff shop.

Thankfully, Little B isn't scared of Tidoo. She gives the doll a hug on occasion, but dumps her on the floor as she would any other plaything she owns.

Sigh of Relief

2009-11-18T11:22:00.002-06:00

The meeting with the headhunter went well. It was nice to know that I am still employable even though I have been out of the workforce for 18 months. I think that it's so easy to forget your accomplishments and abilities when they are meaningless as a stay at home mom. B doesn't care if I have an MBA. My job is to help her explore the world safely and nourish her physically, emotionally, and intellectually. She could care less if I can set up a discounted cash flow model in 10 minutes flat. But wants her milk ASAP.

I was told to let go of my worries about being a mom... That there are plenty of jobs in the area that would provide a great work/life balance and still pay me well for my time and credentials. I felt relief knowing this.

My job search is going to take some time-- I hope to start looking in earnest after 1 January. So in the meantime, I hope to enjoy every moment I can being at home with Little B.

I Really Miss My...

2007-04-30T15:59:00.001-05:00

…baby. :(

Was at a friend's housewarming party on Saturday night and one of the guests there was pregnant. Beautiful and pregnant. With her second baby. I was horribly jealous. I hated how everyone was asking her how far along she was (7.5 months) and I in the back of my head, I calculated that I would have been 5.5 months along if I still had my baby. I didn’t realize that this has been upsetting me until right now. And I’m pouty. And mad. And sad.

As much as I wish we could everything we can to increase our chances, there is so much that is beyond my and Mr. J's control. I don’t want to get all stirred up in a frenzy just to get disappointed month after month. At the same time, I already have enough stress in my life right now, I don’t need to put mre pressure on us.

I just want to punch a wall.

My Wish List 2007 (Not In Any Order)

2007-11-05T15:56:00.002-06:00

1. Good health (no major issues, clear skin, healthy teeth and gums, healthy weight, etc.)
2. The Proust Questionnaire
3. Rugs for the living room and dining room
4. Have Bose subwoofer repaired
5. Clutter-Free Kitchen Office
6. Re-upholster dining room chairs
7. Repair the lining of my Burberry Raincoat
8. Replace the lining of my orange wool coat
9. Resew buttons of my leather jacket
10. The name of any charitable foundations for degenerative retinal diseases (I'd like to make a donation for a friend)
11. Frame for Mr. J's Coach K-signed lithograph
12. To get rid of all that clutters our home
13. Archival box to store dresses I want to keep (dress I wore when I met Mr. J... dress I wore when Mr. J and I got engaged...)
14. Good health and happiness for family and loved ones
15. Massages, manicures, and pedicures
16. Awesome vacations outside of the United States
17. Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro USM Lens for Canon SLR Camera
18. 100 Ways to Take Better Portrait Photographs by Daniel Lezano
19. Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Luster by Dana Thomas
20. Art of the Motorcycle by Thomas Krens. I wanted to get this catalog when I saw the exhibit at the Guggenheim, but couldn't afford it at the time. Now it's out of print. I'd prefer a First Edition, but beggars can't be choosers.
21. New York City Snowglobe - to commemorate my adventures when I was in my twenties
22. Chicago Snowglobe - to commemorate the adventures Mr. J and I are having right now.
23. To Have A Healthy Baby
24. Le Crueset Round French Oven 5.5 Quarts in Cherry Red; my mac and cheese isn't nearly as good as my mother in law's--I blame the lack of a proper dish to cook it in. ;)
25. Knife Tray for our steak knives--the drawer is getting beat up on the inside.

My Wish List 2008 (Not In Any Order)

2008-11-20T20:57:00.005-06:00

1. Good health and happiness for everyone in my family and loved ones
2. Baby's First Christmas 2008 Ornament for Bailey
3. A deep tissue massage from Spa Bella Casa
4. Repair the lining of my Burberry Raincoat
5. Replace the lining of my orange wool coat
6. Resew buttons of my leather jacket
7. The name of any charitable foundations for degenerative retinal diseases (I'd like to make a donation for a friend)
8. To get rid of all that clutters our home
9. Art of the Motorcycle by Thomas Krens. I wanted to get this catalog when I saw the exhibit at the Guggenheim, but couldn't afford it at the time. Now it's out of print. I'd prefer a First Edition, but beggars can't be choosers.
10. New York City Snowglobe - to commemorate my adventures when I was in my twenties
11. Le Crueset Round French Oven 5.5 Quarts in Cherry Red
12. Our New Home 2008 Christmas Ornament
13. That Bailey grows up happy and healthy
14. Healthy skin and fewer wrinkles
15. A nice date with my husband

My Wish List (Not In Any Order) 2009

2009-11-07T21:39:00.000-06:00

1. Good health and happiness for everyone in my family and loved ones
2. For Little B to grow up happy and healthy
3. Quality time with my husband
4. Hood for my macro lens
5. New stationery with my full name on the cards and envelopes with my return address
6. Moleskine 2010 Weekly Diary
7. To finish all of my craft projects
8. To convert my family home videos to DVD format
9. A return address stamper that says "The Johnson Family"
10. Healthy skin and fewer wrinkles
11. Cleaning pen for my camera

Stalking These Dresses

2009-11-03T09:14:00.000-06:00

This dress is ideal, but I'd worry she'd get it all messed up.

This dress is absolutely gorgeous, but $265? Not within the price range.

This one is adorable, but it doesn't seem right to dress an infant in what is essentially a black dress.

This dress is made by Florence Eiseman. My parents bought me dresses by this designer when I was a little girl. I think it's so beautiful, but I will wait until it's on sale.

How Hard Is It To Find A Decent Holiday Dress For A Toddler?

2009-11-03T13:42:00.003-06:00

It's really hard!

Last year, I spent the month of November looking for a beautiful Christmas dress for Little B. It was our first holiday as parents and I wanted her to look as pretty as possible. We lucked out, since her dress was marked down 50% by mid-November. I found a beautiful cardigan from Pottery Barn Kids for $19.99. This is our peanut last year:

This year's pickings were slim. I didn't want to spend more than $40 on an outfit, as she is growing fast and we don't have many occasions to wear something so fancy. But of course, I want her to look nice. Le sigh.

Gymboree had a few cute things, but I wasn't thrilled with the velvet collar and waistband on this dress (at least it's made of 100% silk):

Janie and Jack tend to have beautifully made dresses. This is where I bought Little B's dress last year. But I wasn't enamored by the designs this year. This dress is cute, but the brown flocking makes it a bit drab in my opinion. Plus it was a bit pricey at $89.

I liked this outfit from Janie and Jack, because I thought I could have Little B get more use out of it, but the ensemble would cost more than I planned to spend (OMG! $102 for the sweater, skirt, and bodysuit!).

I found this one at T.J. Maxx for $19.99. It's not silk (100% polyester). The consolation is that it won't wrinkle too much in our suitcase (as we are visiting Grammie & Grand Dad for Christmas). I have a feeling Lola might not be too fond of the black & white print, but it's much nicer than many of the mostly black ensembles I saw. I like how the lining of the coat matches the dress, and the sash on the dress matches the coat. It's a size 12 months, so I am considering going up a size since Christmas is still 8 weeks away and Little B eats A LOT. I made her hair clip and she already has the shoes. We are set!

Adventures in Decluttering

2009-10-31T19:23:00.003-05:00

The three J's love books. Yes, even Little B. Since we have limited space, I went through all of mine and put the ones I don't want to keep in a paper bag. I considered selling them online, at eBay.com or Half.com, but decided I just want them out of my house. So I took about 12 books here. They gave me $9.50 in cash.

I also receive a lot of hand me downs for Little B--some of which are just way too big for her (Size 5T, etc.) and still pretty trendy. I dropped them off at a nearby consignment store and today I picked up a check for $43. Not bad. I can buy Little B a pretty dress for Christmas. :)

Now our house has a bit less clutter.

My Favorite Artichoke Dip

2009-10-30T19:59:00.003-05:00

Super-easy, light & tasty!

4 tablespoons (packed) grated parmesano reggiano cheese
3 tablespoons light mayonnaise
3 tablespoons light sour cream
1/2 teaspoon dried marjoram
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon onion salt
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1 14-ounce can artichoke hearts packed in water, well drained, chopped into 1/4-inch pieces

Whisk 4 tablespoons cheese, light mayonnaise, light sour cream, dried marjoram, black pepper, onion salt, and garlic powder in medium bowl to blend. Stir in chopped artichoke hearts. Transfer mixture to 1 1/2-cup ramekin. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cover mixture and refrigerate.)

Preheat oven to 375° F. Bake dip until heated through, about 20 minutes (about 30 minutes if chilled).

We serve it with small pita or tortilla chips.

Enjoy!

Oops!

2009-10-28T17:25:00.001-05:00

I accidentally taught Little B to jump on my bed. Bad me! Hope she doesn't fall off and bump her head.

Question of the Day

2009-10-27T14:42:00.002-05:00

Do I want to go back to work?

I was up late last night writing cover letters and resumes, not really expecting to hear back from anyone. The job I had in Chicago is not easy to come by here in Edina, MN. And then I truly wonder if I'd take it if it were. But I miss it. And I miss the paychecks. That is not to say that Team J is destitute. Nope. We're fine. But there's something to be said about being paid for your time.

In some ways, my 'day job' looking after Little B is very fun. I love playtime. I love the hugs and kisses, and wow I LOVE naptime (as I type this, she is whining in her crib because girlfriend doesn't want a nap at all). But I miss interacting with other. I do miss thinking about stuff other than how much the per unit cost of diapers are at the Bullseye versus Sam's Club, etc.

Today reality sunk in. Of the three opportunities I reached out to, I heard from one this afternoon. I am flattered that I received a response so quickly. I won't bother going into details, but this job is not easy. It's flexible. I can do most of this whenever I want (which is nice). The first project is on a trial basis. If I do well, they can take me on, and we can re-negotiate my pay. But I'm still wondering...

Here are the pros:

- I can have something on my resume
- Flex hours (Little B can be at home, etc.)
- I can turn down projects and go on vacations when I want to
- I can use my brain and it WILL be challenged
- The experience may be very useful for the future (develop a new skill)
- Nothing to lose (try first project and can leave at any time).
- Travel not required :)
- Non-negotiable deadlines

Here are the cons:

- I will be on my own (no office, no lunch dates, no one to talk to every day)
- No benefits
- Pay is low
- The work isn't easy, but it isn't impossible
- Do I really like it?!?
- Very little mentoring
- Very little room for growth (will never turn into a full-time position, or management position)
- Cannot renew my licenses (which will expire on June 1, 2010)

The potential employer send me a lot of materials to go through. Guess I have a bunch of reading to do tonight.

Wish me luck.

Object of Desire

2009-10-24T22:47:00.004-05:00

I saw this during the summer of 2002 and I've never forgotten how much I liked this pendant in Ruby and how it looked on my neck. Alas, I never got around to buying it for myself, but I plan to one day.

The J's Prepare for Winter

2009-10-24T22:14:00.001-05:00